Award Dinner 2002
  - 2 February 2003

Michael Fergusson's Speech 

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, Guests and Members and of course sponsors!

Another closely fought Championship year has been consigned to the History books. 

In a way it is one that I would rather forget, at least the early part. As you all know we embarked on an engine change programme that would have frightened off lesser mortals. We are not lesser mortals. Basically our technical team threw all their resources behind getting the job done. They solved problems as they arose and effected changes on the hoof as it were, and although we had to miss the first race, we had a legal grid at Cape Town.  

I would like to take this opportunity to thank every one that contributed to the success of this R4m conversion. 

As we approach another year, we must think of the future. We need to plan how to improve the cars, how to change the bodies to make the cars look new and different without spending vast quantities of capital, how to help those who have not “sorted” their gearboxes, get the reliability that is available. 

We are all effected by the world economy, and it would seem, as if this year, beset by the threat of war and global terrorism, will be a difficult one. It is therefor good planning that has resulted in us making this a non-developmental year. At VSP we will treat this as year of consolidation and saving.  

And then the flag dropped. It was terrific. The sound of the cars remains a hotly debated subject; good let them talk. The racing was as close as ever, and, with the exception of two major problems, we now had engines that were reliable. This led to very exciting racing and very low attrition rates. Some notable events during the year were: “Dave at Kyalami spinning in the rain on every corner.” “Bernard being told by all and sundry to take it easy at Zwartkops, and on the first available corner trying to slide inside Melvill, when we all know that there is never a gap inside Melvill.” “Francios Gerber slowing terminally on the formation lap in Cape Town, screwing the start for the entire left lane of the start grid.” “ 

Our cars looked so beautiful. They were beautiful outside and inside, judging the best looking car was actually impossible! Let us ensure that we retain this standard and improve on it. It reflects well on the participants and the sponsors. Close racing was the theme for the whole championship. As we know we put on the last heat of the last championship race of the last event of the day to decide the final championship placing. I don’t think that Spielberg could have written it better. Add to this the fact that a man who last won a national championship in managed to convincingly win again 20 years later. We saw Donavan make a charge toward the front, ending in a tussle with Neil for second place. George made a strong run for the podium, to be side lined at the last hurdle. Reading the point’s table so ably and graphically produced by Don Wood, shows battles all the way down the list, some of them highly personal vendettas, particularly in the veteran’s section where the testosterone seems to flow even stronger than with the open section!  

Of course our championship outcome was clouded by the fact that points had to be dropped as a result of not having the possibility of a full grid in Cape Town. To some this added to the excitement. To others it was just another unnecessary problem. Roll on this year with a full race programme and the added excitement of one heat per race day. Just a little background to this experiment, and it is only an experiment. We are trying to pack all the racing into an afternoon so that the paying customers can do what need to be done in the morning, and then go out to the races, hopefully with the whole family for the afternoon. Rather like they would do to a rugby match. If we find that this formula does not work it may well change again! Suffice it to say that we are trying everything to get bums on seats – in theatre parlance! 

Which cunningly reminds me of a joke!

An old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sunrise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.

He yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire."

Old man says, "What you gonna do with that?"

Boy says, "Gonna catch some chickens."

Old man yells, "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"

Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise, he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sunrise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.

Old man yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape."

Old man says, "What you gonna do with that?"

Boy says back, "Gonna catch me some ducks."

Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!

Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.

Old man says, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy says, "It's a pussy willow."

Old man says, "Wait up.... I'll get my hat.” 

Now I it gives me great pleasure to call up the winners to collect their trophies. I hope that they are appreciated as a great deal of time and effort goes into making something different every year. 

Congratulations to all of you. 

In closing I would like to firstly thank

Ø      the sponsors who are instrumental in making this sport happen,

Ø      the families that allow their men time to do this sport, and please note that we do encourage family participation,

Ø      the technical support staff, and

Ø      Lastly thank Jannet and Vikki and all that assisted in the making of this evening so unusual and such a success.  

If I can close with another joke. 

An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly.

"Well," she says, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say I would like it infrequently."

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment. Then, looking over his glasses, he looked her in the eye casually asking, "Was that one or two words?"